I am resting with my ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend. This was no my intention in ~ all, ns swear! We had been date for a little under two years and also broke up six months ago.

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We never really stopped talking after ~ the rest up and also made plans last month to see each other to ‘make points work.’

It just felt for this reason safe and familiar. We easily fell right into the same habits and we slept together. A pair of times.

He is currently seeing someone yet says that isn’t serious and he quiet cares about me. I have been asking him if we can pick up where we left off however he pulls far whenever I lug up getting back together.

Should I give him one ultimatum?! It’s either me or his new girlfriend.


Ms. Ultimatum

I’m sleeping With my Ex-Boyfriend Who has actually A Girlfriend


Dear Ms. Ultimatum,

There is A LOT come unpack here.

First of all, I desire to say I carry out sympathize through what you’re walking through. I think a lot of of people will read this and also automatically think you’re in the wrong (I’m not saying you’re not, yet I know your heartache and also struggle.)

Listen, breakups space hard, messy, and also take time to completely heal. Friend didn’t specify why the 2 of you damaged up, yet it really doesn’t issue in the grand scheme of things.

One, or both that you, determined the connection wasn’t repairable and it to be time to move on.

Your first mistake below was keeping in contact and also trying to make it work. Ns am a large proponent of no contact after a breakup so you don’t acquire into these messy situations.

But now that you’re here, what can you do?!

Honestly, and I speak this wholeheartedly, MOVE ON.

Your ex-boyfriend is reflecting he’s no a particularly great person. He’s lying to his new girlfriend, he’s stringing you along, the obviously can’t have an adult conversation v you around what’s happening. It begs the question, why perform you want him in the an initial place?!

Ms. Ultimatum, please, please, please choose up her crown and also get the end of this as easily as girlfriend can.

Don’t degrade yourself additional by sleeping with this male who doesn’t love you, much less, respect you.

And for the love that god – please carry out not offer him one ultimatum!

No good, honest, love relationship ever before started v an ultimatum. And also you’re trying to restart this relationship after a breakup, affair, and ultimatum?!

It’s time to placed on some Lizzo and Ariana Grande and also NEXT!

Sincerely, Claudia

Honestly, I understand the appeal of sleeping with one ex. I truly, truly do.

But no good can come from this.

One point is two grown adults having an honest and open conversation around their relationship and seeing if they deserve to fix things.

And another is jumping right into bed through an ex-boyfriend the end of habit or loneliness.

But if there’s one point I recognize is this: Sex is simply Sex. Don’t think that sleeping with any man will make him want you, miss you, or wish to get earlier with you.

It won’t happen. And especially if that ex-boyfriend you’re sleeping with has a brand-new girlfriend.

All you’re doing in this situationship is questioning for disrespect and hurt feelings.

And ns refuse to believe you think that’s what friend deserve.

A half-ass relationship with a male who can’t be completely there?! Girl, we must love ourself a little bit much more than that.

Grab your girlfriends, speak to your mom, buy part Ben & Jerries and repeat after me ‘I don’t desire anyone that doesn’t desire me,’ okay?!

And I understand what you’re asking yourself….

Why Is mine Ex getting to Out come Me as soon as He has A Girlfriend?

Honestly it doesn’t mater why he’s reaching out.

But if you desire to go more down the rabbit-hole, these are the key reasons men reach the end to their exes (even as soon as they have a girlfriend)

They’re lonely

Yes. The various other L-word.

Just because you’re through someone doesn’t mean you’re fully satisfied and also happy.

Plenty of world experience loneliness when they’re in relationships. Simply as lot as solitary people, believe it or not.

So him reaching out to you might be less around him missing you and more of that trying to fill his very own inner void.

The Grass Is Greener

The ‘grass is greener’ syndrome is a typical issue amongst many world (men and woman alike)

It is as soon as you are always looking at what you’re absent instead of what you have.

People who frequently get a situation of Grass-Is-Greeneritis will certainly likely constantly be to compare their current girlfriends come an ex. They may look at the poor qualities their brand-new partners have actually instead that the great ones.

These civilization are likely to gain nostalgic and end up reaching out to an ex.

Note: These men are likely to have been reaching out come prior exes when YOU were dating them. Lock are most likely never solve and constantly unhappy in their present relationships.

He wants Sex

I mean… This go without speak in every the cases.

Your ex walk not currently nor ever before want to be ‘just friends.’


When he states he want’s to be friends: Sex.

When he asks ‘how have you been?’: Sex.

When he sends out you a meme: SEX!!

Listen. He can be a quite guy and maybe sex isn’t the first thing top top his mental (but who believes that?!) yet I’m ready to go out on a limb and also say that this man is only reaching out to you because you stand for an chance to get laid.

Unfortunately, men think it’s simpler to sleep with someone they’ve currently slept v than with someone new. It’s familiar, it’s safe, and also it’s (in your minds) EASY.

So if you want to respond to his cute little ‘how room you doing?’ text, go best ahead, yet don’t lie to yourself.

He has actually an ulterior motive. Even if it is that’s pour it until it is full a void or sex (or both simultaneously LOL!) – I simply want friend to it is in aware.

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Personally, ns wouldn’t respond. Yet if you’re a nicer, kinder human being than ns am then go ahead. But please, please, pleaaaase don’t sleep through an ex boyfriend who has a girlfriend.

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